Love is a Crippled Dream
by huddy you are mine
Summary: Cuddy is done with House, but is House done with Cuddy?      Now she was gone. Again. Like always he was right in the end.  But if your stuck and your not allowed back, where the hell do you go?
1. Decisions

_**Love is a crippled dream.**_

**_This is my first ever Fan Fiction story, however I'm currently writing a book and need a break from that project. So please be kind to me and excuse me for any OOC. Would love for you to review and tell me if you would like to read more!_**

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><p><em><strong>Now she was gone. Again. Like always he was right in the end.<strong>_

_**But if your stuck and your not allowed back, where the hell do you go?**_

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><p>It wasn't that he didn't want to be with her, of course he did. God, it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He just couldn't break himself; he would be a hypocrite to himself if he changed now. He didn't believe people could change. The years he exploited himself to a drug ridden life, then to finally get clean but to find his one hope in life had been taken, snatched from him like a falling coin. Then out all the odds she would choose him in his deepest most darkest moments of sorrow. But it was way to good to be true. He knew it. He had even told her it, their first night they spent together, although she denied it, telling him that she would never want him to change. It was only a matter of time though, before that promise wore, and things started to slip. Now she was gone. Again. Like always, he was right in the end.<p>

House sat at the end of his hotel bed. He was finally alone properly since the night cuddy had left him. He was sober and hadn't taken a Vicodin in over three hours. His icy blue gaze was fixated on a shattered wine glass, which flashed memories of the night before in to his tired mind. Where he had partied into the early morning and gone to bed with a different girl again, like the previous night. He hadn't been to work in two days and he didn't believe anyone was missing him, certainly not cuddy. The glasss on the floor also triggerd thoughts back to the night cuddy came to him. The night cuddy left lucas and all behind. How Wilson hadn't stoped pestering them through the whole course of the next day, trying to see if he was stable. This time nobody had come for him. Cuddy had left him, Wilson seemed to have given up on him. The brisk night air shook him out of his reminisce, back to the present, back to realtiy. But she was still in his mind, she was always on his mind.

The knock at his room door sent alarms runny through his mind again, he hadn't called a hooker, he was tired of those. Wilson perhaps? But why on earth would he be coming to see him at this hour? He stood up and limped heavily across his room. He nearly fell on to the door, before he took a second to compose himself. He opend it with a slight tug. "yes, what do you want?" he grumbled to the hench man standing at his door.

"I've been told that you are to pack your things and get out of this room imedatly" House looked stunned as the hotel security guard carried on. " You've been too disruptive and the damage to your room has been exstensive. Please get your things and leave" with out any further warning the man left leaving House with no choice but co operate, which he rarely liked to do.

He only had one rucksack and most of his clothes were still in there. The ones he wore now, smelt of stale bear and sex. His room was dark and he didn't bother to switch on the lights to try and gather his belongings, he could safly say anything worthwhile to pack was already in his bag, all he had to do was find his cane. Although after 15 minutes of searching for it he presumed he had misplaced it somewhere whilst in one of his many drunken states, in which case he would never find it. He staggerd to the lift, using the hallway for support. Waking up nearly everyone on his floor with his heavey footsteps. House made it down stairs to check out. He assumed a hefty bill was waiting for him at the counter, although to his greatest surprise there was none. That's when he realize who was jerking him around.

He stepped off the bus and stood infront of Wilson's apartment. No lights were on, but of course that was Wilson trying to fool him, he thought to himself. He clenched his fists and smacked at the door, making sure to wake up anyone inside, although no response came. He laughed to himself as he tried to peak through window, but to know avail. He wasn't drunk, but Houses mind was surely acting iratinaly. With one quick movement House smashed the front door glass and let himself into an empty apartment. Still smilling at Wilsons little practical joke House traipsed though the living room and made himself comfortable on a familiar sofa. He waited for Wilson to come out of his hiding place and have laugh with him. Yet it was only the darkness, which persisted to greet him, surround him. Slowly he fell asleep to the sound of nothingness.


	2. Heartbeats

_**Love is a crippled dream.**_

_**This is my first ever Fan Fiction story, however I'm currently writing a book and need a break from that project. So please be kind to me and excuse me for any OOC. Would love for you to review and tell me if you would like to read more!**_

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><p>The light footsteps padding about around House didn't wake him up, but his rucksack being shoved in his face did. The shock caught his breath as his eyes darted open, to the shadowy figure towering over him. "I don't even want to know how drunk you are!" The familiar voice tumbled through Houses head.<p>

"I'm not drunk" House grumbled back, but Wilson already had his back to him.

" Look House" there was a different tone to Wilson voice now, one House hadn't heard in a long time "Sam's upstairs expecting me to find a bugler or at least a few missing items, not my best friend lying wasted on my couch!" he was struggling not to physically spit at him.

" For god sake Wilson, I'm not drunk!" House counter acted.

"Well I hope you are, because if breaking into your friends home is now on the rational side of your brain, you are even more screwed up than I thought you were" Wilson took a breath, it was too dark to see Houses facial expressions. He was solemn though, quite for once; Wilson's words had stung him more than intended. "House, just get out!" House looked up to see the outline of Wilsons face ridiculed with disgust. Even when House had faked cancer he had never seen him this angry. He took the chance to give Wilson a blow for himself. House stood up taller than him, and opened his mouth.

" What's wrong, not get the right type of sex from Sam?" he mocked, trying to carry on " Isn't she good enou-" but has was cut off by another blow from Wilson. This time a physical right handed hook, which landed on his noes and caught his lower eye, causing him to fall back. some how he managed to stay upright. He quickly placed a hand to his now bloody noes. Then looked up at Wilson.

" House, just because you struggled to maintain a decent relationship, doesn't mean everyone around you is miserable and pathetic!" Wilsons words lingerd in the air, like a stale smell that isn't easily rid of. " Get out House" he spat. House looked up again, this was not the initial response he was looking for. Their eyes were clashing urging one another to make the next move.

"Don't bother seeing me out" House spoke benieath his hand, which was clutching his noes.

Limping out on to the street again, he felt the breeze of the door shut behind him and the weight of the world balance back on his shoulders. He sighed to himself in disbliefe. If Wilson had no clue about the hotel room, then who else could have got him kicked out and paid his bills. He sat in the gutter racking his brain for some rational answer, but none came. Maybe he was drunk after all. Drunk on sorrows. Maybe he had taken too many Vicodin or not enough. No. He didn't want to think of himself as a mopey old man who couldn't handle a break up. After all he was known for being the hard ass. He took a long hard look at himself. He had lost. There was no puzzle. It was just him trying to fill the void. Afterall he had done this too himself. It was the best thing he had, and the best had, had gone away. The all round high and dry feeling had faded, now reality was kicking in and he realized exactly what had happened. He'd blown his one true chance at happieness. There was no other way of putting it. One stupid mistake with a dying girl had brought him into the whole ordeal of a relationship, and another stupid mistake had snatched it right for his grip.

House realized that it was now going on 4am and he was stuck in between Wilsons house, his house and Cuddy's. He had no bike. No money left on him and no cane. He couldn't let Wilson have the satisifaction of seeing him in the morning asleep in the sidewalk. But saying that, there was no way he would knock at Cuddys door and ask for a lift. The only option was to limp slowly and painfully as far as he could, before he enevitably dropped like a fly, just not being able to go any further.

He didn't get very far until the pain became unbearable. For him that was something he couldn't deal with. Yes, he could push mental strains back out of his mind, but the physical pain that constantly loomed over him was never ending. He sat, propped up against a garden wall. What was the use anymore. He didn't like self pity but right now that's all that seemed to stick with him. He fell asleep, neck tilted awkowrdly, in a restless s

state on the concrete floor.

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><p>Cuddy was on her way to work, and for the first time since her break up, she hadn't woken up thinking why her bed was empty. She had woken up knowing her bed was going to be empty, that afterall, had been her call. She stepped out of the house, early that spring morning, the sun dancing around her, as she made her way to her car. It was still only 7:25 but by her standards she was late. She pulled out of her driveway silenghtly and erged down her road. As she was turning the corner she spotted a man, sloutched over on the side of the curb. His eye was puffy and orange, with the tell tale signs of an emerging bruise. Another tramp, she began to think to herself, although on further inspection, the tramp was more of a highly respected doctor. Her face grimaced at the sight. What on earth was he doing round here. She had the urge to stop the car and wake House up. But she new that would turn into a situation she did not want to be confronted with. But her heart strings tugged when she saw the pain in his face, even whilst he was deep in a somber sleep. Looking at the clock on her dashboard, Cuddy was in two minds, however she rememberd she had a hostpital to run, and he was no longer her problem. He woke just in time to catch her registration plate speeding off into the distance, however his face did not change from the painful look he had woken up with, at all. Instead he sat there motionlessly.<p>

She spotted him hobbling into work, he looked much worse than usual. She had the thought of asking him about what he was doing around her place that mornig. However that meant confronting him, which meant sexual tension, which would in the end lead to tears on her part. Something she just didn't ewant to deal with today.

However at mid day Cuddy was given no option but to confront him, when he came barging into her office. He had a new cane, the ones surplied by the ER, which Cuddy noticed instantly. "wheres your cane?" she sated without looking up from her paper work. He looked at her stunned that she was even talking to him.

"errr, decided I wanted a change, you know, the hard woods good for attracting ladies but the metal stuff really gets the chicks going" he answerd in a sarcastic tone. But Cuddy wasn't please.

"What do you want House, I'm busy?" Cuddy said in an annoyed tone.

"What I want to know is why everyone is judging me like I'm on a mission to get something from everybody? You and Wilson both!" he stood proudly in the middle of her office. But still Cuddy didn't look up.

"That's because you usually are. Also since breaking into your best friends apartment, usually states you want something." She said blandly. " So I ask you again House, what do you want?" he looked disappointed that he hadn't gotten any emotion out of her.

"I want many things…" he said trying to hold back a smile. Cuddy looked up furiously.

"House, seriously what do you want? I have no time for you, not now, not ever again!" it burned her to say that, but she needed to move on, she couldn't handle him anymore" with out a word House walked over to her desk and threw his case file at her. Cuddy looked through it. " What?" she asked still wanting more information from him.

"She needs a brain biopsy" he said lifelessly. Cuddy carried on reading through the file.

"fine go get it" she said heavily handing him back the file. House stared at her, not yet grabbing it back. "That's funny" he said laughing to himself. Cuddy just stared back. "You see, she doesn't actually need a brain biopsy, she's not even sick anymore, but you still approved one anyway. Which must mean you didn't actually read the file, and the only reason you would approve a potentitly killer surgery, is because you want me to go away." Cuddy began to state the obvious, but she had no chance. " And I don't mean you want me out, so you can carry on working, because this case file is what you do for work, tell me what I can and can't have. So you must just want me out of here, because you really cant stand to be around me anymore." Cuddy looked up at him. He had a sharp point to his voice. Deflecting though Cuddy began to speak. " I dont want to talk about US at work."

"No of course not, not now, not ever." House said sarcastically.

"Maybe not ever because I can't, ever, you always have a smart get out of a proper conversation everytime I try!" her temper was beginning to rise.

"Well obvisouly, since I'm here and all trying to talk about it with you" mockery in his voice was rising too. Cuddy was standing up now; ready to argue with him, but not willingly.

"Get out House!" was all she came up with. So as he turned round to leave, he laughed to himself.

"Tell me when you are ready to talk, because I am." He said as her office door was closing, leaving her alone, with her heart piounding against her chest.


End file.
